I never can resist a touch of the dramatic - Part 2

My second post on this blog indicated my dislikes in relation to Sherlockian stage plays. Having watched a further 20 plays, I can extend my list of six to ten, the number I originally wanted to come up with.

To summarise the first six:

1. Holmes should be clean shaven, Watson with a moustache
2. No moronic Watsons (Nigel Bruce is not a man to idolise)
3. No supernatural explanations for events
4. No disappointing Hounds
5. No Holmes getting the girl
6. No Reichenbach rewriting

The new four:

7. ‘ “Dr. Watson, Mr. Sherlock Holmes,” said Stamford, introducing us.’

Our two protagonists if in their Victorian era should refer to each other as ‘Holmes’ and ‘Watson’ (or in the latter case also as ‘Doctor’), not ‘Sherlock’ and ‘John’. I found a recent play where Watson and Mrs Hudson repeatedly referred to Holmes as ‘Sherlock’ very jarring (but at least Lestrade continued to call him ‘Mr. Holmes’) 

8. ‘My father was an officer in an Indian regiment who sent me home when I was quite a child. My mother was dead, and I had no relative in England’

The above indicates the parentage of Miss Mary Morstan, who became Watson’s (first) wife. Three plays that I have seen in the past year have sought to rewrite this parentage, and trample all over Mary Watson’s good name by making scandalous suggestions as to the truth of her background, including one seemingly influenced by ‘Sherlock’ which claimed she was not even Mary Morstan but an imposter, which only upset poor Watson and did not move the plot on one jot. 

9. ‘A Case of Identity’

Further to #6, please do not make your antagonist a female relative of the ‘late lamented Professor Moriarty’. I’ve seen his daughter (several times), his wife, his lover and his sister over the years, all trying to get their revenge on Holmes for the Professor’s death.

10. ‘You give my little impersonations your kindly praise ?’

Please don’t give the actor playing Holmes another part unless either: i) the play is a two/three-man version; or ii) the other part is Holmes in disguise (in which case use an assumed name in the programme). There have been several occasions where a character I have believed to be a disguised Holmes has turned out to be a minor part played by the same actor whilst Holmes is out of the action. To a lesser extent the same goes for Watson.

That covers it for now, but I reserve the right to add more.